Book Reviews

Book Blurb

At twenty-six, Gordon Stafford figures his days are numbered. At least he hopes they are. Wearied by guilt and regret stemming from a horrific automobile accident two years earlier in which a man was killed, Gordon wakes up every morning with thoughts of suicide. While the law puts Gordon to work atoning for his sins, personal redemption is far harder to come by.

Then Squirt—a simple homeless man with his own crosses to bear—saves Gordon from a terrible fate. Overnight, Gordon finds not only a new light to follow, and maybe even a purpose to his life, but also the possibility of love waiting at the end of the tunnel.

Gordon never imagined he’d discover a way to forgive himself, and in doing so, open his heart enough to gain acceptance and love—from the very person he hurt the most.

 

Book Review

“It is not "forgive and forget" as if nothing wrong had ever happened, but "forgive and go forward," building on the mistakes of the past and the energy generated by reconciliation to create a new future.” ~ Carolyn Osiek

It's infinitely harder to forgive yourself than it is to forgive someone else, as Gordon Stafford is learning in 'Head-On' by John Inman. Gordon has a head-on collision with another car, but he also has one with his life in general. Gordon is learning a hard lesson in humility, caused by his arrogant, prideful, conceited past and it's coming at a very high price. Gordon loses everything he has considered important to him; his job, his house, his reputation, and worst of all, his self-respect. Gordon is humiliated and depressed, but, he's still alive; and, as long as he breathes, there is a chance for him to receive forgiveness and redemption.

Gordon is a lost soul. Once he had so much, and now, he barely has anything, including his will to live. He spends a year in jail for killing a man in a car crash and he's now doing community service at a soup kitchen. He accepts his penance with as much grace as he can muster. Humility comes easier than he'd ever imagined it could. This whole disaster has given him quite a lot to think about. He's lonely, but doesn't feel worthy of having someone to care about him. He's existing, biding his time until he can get the nerve to end his misery. Gordon's pain is so well described that it is palpable. He tries so hard to do penance for what he did wrong, but nothing seems like it's enough to even dull the ache he feels. When he meets Squirt, it's as if the clouds open up and sunshine begins to pour through them. Gordon rides in, a knight in tarnished armor with a spatula instead of a sword, to save Squirt from three bullies. Afterward, he sits Squirt down and brings him a huge breakfast, all the while, wondering where this sudden burst of protectiveness is coming from. Gordon is so grateful for the opportunity to be close to Squirt, that he takes things very slowly, giving them lots of time to get to know each other. Although Squirt doesn't talk too much, Gordon simply enjoys being with him and goes along with whatever Squirt wants to do. If and when their relationship becomes something more, it's Squirt who has to take the next step. Squirt has given Gordon a reason to live and he no longer thinks of suicide. He never dreamed that he would ever be able to feel such joy again.

Squirt is an enigma. He is different from other people who live on the street. There's an ethereal quality about him; but there's also a great sadness barely hidden just under the surface. Squirt has selective amnesia; he can remember everything except for what has happened two years ago. He has scars on his arms but doesn't know where they came from. It's clear that Squirt has lived through some horrible trauma, but he can't remember what. Squirt doesn't trust easily, but Gordon's kindness is endearing; slowly, but surely, Squirt begins to believe in Gordon. When he saves Gordon's life, getting him out of a deadly situation when he is too drunk to care, Gordon is deeply grateful. Squirt is very fragile, easily swayed, and in danger of breaking at any time. He never talks about his past and Gordon never pushes him because he's afraid to rock the boat and scare him away. Squirt and Gordon move in together and fall into a domestic routine and are in love. Things seem to be going well, but secrets from the past threaten to destroy all that they've so tenuously built.

This story is different from the others I've read by John Inman, but it is every bit as good. It's serious, even sad at times. I became extremely emotionally involved with the characters and, in spite of the seemingly unsolvable difficulties they faced, was hoping that they would find a way to work things out and be happy. The theme of healing forgiveness is huge for both Gordon and Squirt and, as impossible as it seems, they are the only ones who can forgive each other and themselves. I recommend this book to those who enjoy intense, angsty, stories with damaged characters who find forgiveness and redemption. Thanks, John, for reminding me that it's only in forgiving yourself that you can accept the forgiveness of others.

 

 

 

 

DISCLAIMER: Books reviewed on this site were usually provided at no cost by the publisher or author. This book has been provided by Dreamspinner Press for the purpose of a review.

Additional Information

Format	ebook and print
Length	Novel, 220 pages/72103 words
Heat Level
Publication Date	09-July-2014
Price	$6.99 ebook, $14.99 paperback, $14.99 bundle
Buy Link	https://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/books/head-on-by-john-inman-3330-b